What I learned last Saturday was that there are some simple techniques to help you overcome your fears fear. So what does the fear of public speaking  boil down to, well I believe that its all about our self esteem and how people will view us while we’re on stage and facing the audience. Once this that I learned from Saturdays workshop is that being on stage facing the “pack” is rather unnatural for us. In terms of “Pack Mentality” we’re usually all facing the same way and as Tim Dingle puts it “we want to either ‘Kill it, eat it or have sex with it’”. Think about it; it has a certain truth that I think we could all relate to.

No wonder it’s scary facing the pack!

Some techniques I’ve learned over the last 18 months are things like “remembering to breathe” and “smiling at the start of a speech” but the thing that I believe will become the most effective advice I’ve ever been given is to “be yourself”. Although this sounds like a no brainer it can be really difficult to be yourself when you’re expected to “perform”.

So how to get to that place where you really are yourself. First of all you’ll need to leave all thoughts of a good performance behind, in fact thought of ANY performance. Speak from the heart and leave the embarrassment factor behind.

On Saturday I entered a room full of strangers and worked through some of the things I was being told during the day and did manage to write and tell a joke in front of a 50 strong audience. To my great surprise I actually got spontaneous laughter and a round of applause. I managed this by working though the mechanics of a simple joke. As tim described it, The Set Up; and then the Pay Off (punch line)

To make things easier we were all given a Set Up  to start with “I took my grandfather out last night…” some of the punch lines were really funny and other not so much.

Then it was our turn to write a set up and a payoff. It was a surprisingly easy process but one that is best learned from Tim Dingle in person.

Let me know if you’re interested in learning more about how to use comedy in your speech…

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We arrived, a little soaked and windswept, at Oxtead Community Hall. Somewhat perturbed at the lack of hot coffee on offer, our spirits were lifted by seeing so many eager Toastmasters from across the SE of England.

Brighton and Hove Speakers held its annual club speaking competition in March this year, which was followed by the Area finals in Southwick a few weeks ago. Now was the time for the winners of this stage (Speaking comp: Jeff Grice, Eastbourne Speakers; Evaluation comp: Catherine Cannon, County Communicators) to compete against the other 4 Areas that make up the SE of England.

It’s at this stage that the pressure is really on. The contestants have one eye on the prize – the gleaming trophy – that will take them on to compete at the National UK & Ireland Competition next month. And after this, it could be a trip to Florida in August…..

The evening kicked off with a keynote speech from last year’s world semi-finalist, Malachi Talabi (Croydon Communicators). It was inspiring to see a self-proclaimed ‘SE Londoner & teaching assistant’ holding the stage so confidently and telling us all how to realize our own potential.

I’m going to give Malachi a big plug here (!) – which is that he’s produced a book “7 Minutes to Win It”, specifically to help Toastmasters improve in competitions. I picked up a copy and it looks good. To find out more visit http://www.malachitalabi.com/

It seemed to add to the pressure in the already-tense room to have a prior UK winner take the limelight first. Next it was on to the speaking competition….

Our boy, Jeff Grice, went first and he did a fantastic job at flying the flag for our Area 32! His speech ‘1-2-3-4” was a very personal and moving account of how to combat bullying.

The standard of the speeches at this level was very high and it was very difficult to work out who might clinch it. Us Brighton and Hovers debated amongst ourselves and (unsurprisingly!) had differing opinions. Jeff came in at an incredibly respectable 2nd placing. He was disappointed not to win but he will no doubt keep trying! You can meet Jeff soon as he is coming to do a General Evaluation at our club on Wednesday 23rd May.

Catherine Cannon from County Communicators in Chichester (how’s that for alliteration?!) was last on in the evaluation comp and again, really did our Area proud. She said she was just chuffed to be there, so she must have been delighted to have come in at 3rd place.

Overall, the evening was incredibly moving and enjoyable. It was wonderful to get out into the bigger, wider world of Toastmasters and see what’s going on.

Don’t forget to check out the UK & Ireland Toastmasters conference which is taking place in Wexford on 11-13 May; visit http://www.wowconference.ie to find out more.

Here’s what the Toastmaster Website says about the process (I’ve paraphrased this to avoid content duplication):

Annual Club Elections

The election process starts in May with all clubs bound by Toastmasters to elect annual officers serving from July 1 of the current year (2012 in this case), through June 30 of the following year (2013). There is an option for semiannual officer election but I’ve excluded this as .

Before March 31:

Appoint a nominating committee (see Club Constitution and the Standard Bylaws for Clubs of Toastmasters International). The committee should be chaired by the immediate past president or most recent past president available.

Last meeting in April:

Nominating committee reports to the club.

First meeting in May:

The nominating committee report is presented to the club. If the nominating committee has no report at the last meeting in April, postpone the election until one week after the meeting at which the report is given. Call for nominations from the floor. Nominations and elections begin with the president and proceed in descending order.

Remember: A quorum (51 percent of active members) is needed to conduct business (including electing officers). Proxies or absentee ballots are not allowed at the club level. Members must be active and present to vote. Don’t forget to fill out a club and officer information form online at the Club Central section immediately following your election so the correct officers will receive every important mailing.

Or your club may submit the club and officer information form by mail or fax, instead.
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Attending Toastmasters allows us all to learn and gain experience in public speaking- the valuable tools and experiences that we see every week helps us move our own development forward in a supportive space. On Tuesday, it was the other way around as I was a mentor for 3 groups of young people volunteering with the Princes Trust.

It was an amazing experience to help young people gain a skill that they will need for life. At times, it reminded me of my first experiences of public speaking – the nerves, swaying and moving about… I still get nervous sometimes but can hide it much better now! With an enthusiastic group of Toastmasters by their side, the participants had an excellent day and learned the ten top tips of speaking and real life skills that will help move them forward years after their Princes Trust experience. Thank you to my fellow toastmasters as I too learned a lot from the day – I will certainly be joining you again.

Working with young people every day allows me to see a different side to life – their challenges, inspirations and potential. Some days, I feel very old when the new music starts to play and I do not recognise the band ! However, every young person around the world needs support sometimes to move forward to help them believe in themselves. Do you have a few hours to be the person to support these young people to move forward? To me the gift of time is free and I have seen it make such a difference. So, please get in touch if you are able to support this venture.

Here are some points that will help you to deliver the Eulogy without becoming too overwhelmed during your speech on this very emotional occasion:

• Write your speech and Practice it well
• Concentrate on the positive points of the persons life – Use 2 or three points at the most
• Your speech should not be simple chronological list of things they’ve done
• Use Humour that is appropriate and relevant to the good times in their life
• Focus on their personality and share your own personal feelings
• Use pauses in your speech to help you gather your thoughts and emotions
• Make Eye Contact with as many as you people as you can
• Try not to use platitudes like “Time heals all…”
• Be sure to vary your tone of voice and vocal volume

The feeling of all those eyes on you, waiting for you to speak can make even the most confident, outgoing sorts turn into quivering wrecks wanting to shrivel down a hole in floor.

Sound familiar?

There’s such an expectation in our society that we should all just be able to confidently stand up and speak in front of others on demand.   Think back in your life when this might have been the case – at school? college or university? in team meetings at work? Board meetings perhaps? when you’ve left a job?  at your wedding or anniversary?  The list is endless….

But most of us never get any training.  We dread those moments when we’re called to stand at the front of the room waiting for the ensuing nerves to engulf us.

I’ve been a member of Toastmasters for 2 years now and all I can say is that it’s done wonders for my confidence.  And what it’s made me realize more than anything is that most people have some level of fear of public speaking – it’s quite natural.

At our meetings you’ll find a bunch of friendly, inspiring people from all walks of life who have one thing in common.  They are facing their fears head on.  Getting up and getting involved to conquer their demons.  It’s fascinating and wonderful to watch.

Come along & see for yourself.  We pride ourselves on making our guests feel welcome from the moment you arrive. I look forward to meeting you.

P.S.  Oh yes – nearly forgot – the Duchess of Cambridge (AKA Kate Middleton) gave her very first public address this week in front of the world’s media.  Scary stuff!  It’s good to know that she gets nerves too…

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/mar/19/duchess-cambridge-first-speech-hospice

Written by Kate Kirkham – VP Education – Brighton and Hove Speakers Club.

Want to be part of this mutually supportive group of people who are, bit by bit, overcoming their fear of public speaking and even becoming confident enough to address audiences numbering hundreds of people.

Sign up for our information and news and find out how you could join us in overcoming a fear of public speaking.! Some of the people who join us now enjoy public speaking.  Wouldn’t you like to be like that too?

]]> http://www.brightonandhovespeakersclub.co.uk/more-people-are-joining-toastmasters-to-overcome-a-fear-of-public-speaking/feed/ 0 http://www.brightonandhovespeakersclub.co.uk/10-tips-for-public-speaking/ http://www.brightonandhovespeakersclub.co.uk/10-tips-for-public-speaking/#comments Sat, 18 Feb 2012 10:09:37 +0000 Stephen Counsell http://www.brightonandhovespeakersclub.co.uk/?p=1333 Feeling nervous before giving a prepared speech is natural and can be beneficial. To create a create performance and deliver well you’ll need to get those butterflies under control. Here are some tips to help:

Know your material.

Pick a topic you are interested in. Research the topic so that you know more about it than you can or want to include in your prepared speech. Use of  humor, personal stories and conversational language to tell your story (deliver your speech). This approach will help you to remember your speech.

Practice…

Practice. Practice. Practice!

There really is no substitute for rehearsing out loud with all equipment you plan on using. I personally use and recommend the use of a video camera to record myself and review my performance (in private of course!).

Amend your speech and performance as needed. It’s amazing how you’ll be able to control those, er, erm, filler words;

Practice pausing at relevant points in your speech and PLEASE remember to breathe. When practicing use a timer and allow time for the unexpected. Speeches are usually allowed a minimum, mid and maximum time, like 5 to 7 minutes. For a 5 to 7 minute speech I aim for just over 6 minutes. The lights usually at the back of the room (Green Amber & Red on 5, 6 & 7 minutes really help)

Know your audience

Greet some of the audience members as they arrive. It’s easier to speak to a group of friends than to strangers.

Know the room

Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone if there is one and any visual aids like flip charts, props and computer presentations.

Relax

Begin by addressing the audience. It buys you time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile and count to three before saying anything. (“One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. Pause. Begin.) Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm.

Visualise yourself giving your speech

Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident. Visualise the audience clapping – it will boost your confidence.

People want you to succeed

Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They’re rooting for you.

Don’t apologise

for any nervousness or problem – the audience probably never noticed it.

Concentrate on the message

not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience.

Gain experience

Mainly, your speech should represent you — as an authority and as a person. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need in a safe and friendly environment.

A month or so later, my first speech consisted mainly of standing to attention and blurting out everything I could think of in my life. In my second, I tried to explain the mechanics of photography. That was it for a while and I just attended a few meetings, listened and clapped.

Eventually I realised I had to get going again and launched into a third speech which I approached with a little more thought. People at Brighton Speakers Club are very supportive and tips and tricks are shared freely. One evening I was saying that I found it difficult to do without notes and could never memorise a speech and someone suggested that I practice in the car on the way to work.

My daily commute is a drive of over an hour each way and so for a week I found myself muttering away to myself while I streaked up the M23 every morning. I’d get into the inside lane, watch the clock, wait for the next minute and then start the speech. This worked very well notwithstanding the occasional unplanned pause while I overtook a lorry or slowed to allow for a car in front. Tip for anyone thinking of copying this idea: Don’t start until you’re past the wiggly bit in the A23.

At my next Toastmasters speech I was flabbergasted to find I could recite the speech almost word for word. I was amazed that I was capable of this but then, why should I be different from anyone else? I continued for a few more speeches and then late last year I reached my sixth speech.

When we join Toastmasters we are given a course book which we follow or ignore as we wish. The book has ten types of speeches and each has a specific theme. The theme of the sixth speech is tonal variety. I ran through the speech fine and my reviewer praised my writing. However, it was obvious, that I had, more or less, spoken in a monotone throughout. When I get up to speak in front of an audience I find that it is all I can do not to freeze and like many of us any natural relaxed qualities such as tonal range go out the window.

I decided that reading the speech verbatim was holding me back. While initially it had been a support it was now holding me back. I needed to start to improvise and express myself a bit. I scheduled a repeat of my sixth speech but this time without rehearsing and without notes. I knew the general form of the speech and meandered my way through it making attempts at tonal variety by impersonating characters in a cartoon which I discussed.

It was better. Not perfect but better. I realise that this is an issue for me. I have difficulty relaxing and expressing myself. However I was surprised again that I was able to stand and speak for around six minutes without notes and without falling down.

Over Christmas I lapsed a bit but kept involved by doing a couple of evaluations and attending our Christmas dinner. At the last meeting we were told that Worthing Speakers Club could use some support and so, last Thursday, I drove over after work to see what’s what. The club meets downstairs in the Charles Dickens pub and there are fewer members than Brighton. I think the change did me good as, with so few people, I was forced to take on the role of Table Topics Master and Evaluator of one of four speeches. This pushed me into speaking in front of people I had mostly never met. I have to report that I survived.

Toastmasters seems a strange organisation. Why on earth would anyone go? Surely the people must be boring debating nerds? In fact nothing could be further from the truth. In our televised world obsessed with presentation it is easy to become convinced that everyone is infinitely confident and it is only oneself who becomes nervous when speaking in formal situations. Here’s the truth: Everyone gets nervous.

At Toastmasters I have met all sorts of people who attend for all sorts of reasons. Some are taking their first tentative steps and others and experiences and accomplished winners of speaking awards. The speeches can be informative, funny or absurd but they are always better than what’s on the telly. Toastmasters has shown me that it is natural to be nervous, that nerves can be  channelled and that doing this can be fun.

I enjoy the bi-weekly meetings and usually end up in the bar afterwards for a chat and a couple of beers. In fact, though this may be merely the ambiance of the Imperial Hotel at the bottom of First Avenue where we meet, Toastmasters now brings to my mind a comfortable Ealing Comedy and I would not be at all surprised to see Alec Guinness stand up one day to give his thoughts on Theosophy. I still can become nervous when speaking to groups but I am forced to admit: I can do it AND I improve all the time.

A few months back we were visited by an official within the Toastmasters organisation. He gave a speech and pointed out that, when speaking at Toastmasters, we are speaking to a bunch of people who want us to succeed. We are amongst friends. Everything we do at Toastmasters is practice and therefore there is no such thing as failure.

He then asked the question: What would you do if it was impossible to fail?

Various members at the club talk about improving listening skills along side the speaking skills. I’ve never really paid that much attention to the listening skills and thought is was just a thing “experienced toastmasters rattled on about”.

How wrong I was.

Just this morning I attended a breakfast networking meeting and listened to a presentation from a local charity. There were three presenters aver the 15 minutes and although the information they gave us was very good to hear, the delivery left much to be desired.

This is where my own “now improved” listening skills have come into their own. The amount of advice I wanted to give these presenters was huge. But what to do without offending them.

I resolved to congratulate them on a great presentation and tell them about my nervousness from a year ago when I started to give public presentations and told them about how I’d overcome my “umms and Ahs” and am now almost free from using those “filler words and sounds” and all due to the excellent guidance I get through Toastmasters and Brighton and Hove Speakers Club members.

So, if you have a fear of public speaking or want to take the step up to the next level of professionalism in your presentation skills, I urge you to come along to our next meeting and see how Toastmasters and Brighton and Hove Speakers Club can help to get you there.

When you join Toastmasters through Brighton and Hove Speakers Club you’ll receive two manuals that lead you through 10 speaking and 10 leadership projects in a caring and supportive environment where you can improve and get advice all at your own pace.